For love or money

I've noticed that I'm not very good at being a "company man". I have my own life and generally I expect a good work/life balance from my job. When a crunch comes, I expect that I'll be working some long days (or weeks), and I'm OK with that. When I have a situation in my personal life, I expect it the company to be able to bend the other way and allow me the extra time I need to get it dealt with. When the two come at the same time, I expect the company to respect that - I suppose that the compromise would be to work normal hours with maybe a tiny bit extra thrown in where possible.
So, I'm in a situation where I have stuff going on at home - I had my family's annual Xmas party last weekend, and my little brother is visiting me for a week here; he's really stepped up and improved his grades, and when asked what he might like for a reward, the only thing he wanted was to come visit me in NYC. On the work side, I've been handed some very high-profile projects that were already ridiculously late with the task of saving them and getting them out the door by the end of the year. As a result, I've been working until midnight most nights, and needless to say I haven't gotten a lot of time with my brother. I also got a big ration of shit for taking off at 3pm on Friday to make the plane, and for not being around on the weekend. And the thing that amazes me about this is that nobody seems to care.
Which got me thinking - I'm not getting anything out of all this overtime. I'm not going to get a big bonus, I'm not going to get a raise, I'm not up for a promotion - so why am I doing it? Which made me wonder, why is everyone else doing it? I can only guess that my managers have some sort of monetary incentive if everything goes out on time, whereas I'm just told to work longer and harder. Many of my coworkers are working crazy hours and don't seem to be complaining, but I think they're "company men", whereas I'm really not. I fancy myself as more of a mercenary: I do it for the plunder, and I do it well. If you want to really piss me off, make me work a lot more for no extra benefit. For bonus angry points, wait until around the holidays when I (just like everyone else) have a bunch of shit going on; family, shopping, vacation, etc. There's nothing like that combo to make an employee start calling headhunters.
I guess it comes down to (for me, at least) a simple reciprocal relationship: as my employer, if you treat me with respect, then I'll do the same. If you treat me like a "resource" (a word that, when used as a euphemism for "person", never fails to grate on my nerves), then that's how I'll act. At the very least my boss could offer me something, but I know he won't, because there's nothing in it for him.
Personally, I think that treating your employees that way is bad in the long run, because it eliminates all sense of loyalty. A lot of people stick around in their jobs because they worry that the company will suffer without them (even though they're usually mistaken about that), or out of some sense of loyalty. When the company makes it clear that they don't care about the employees, the employees usually go somewhere else.
This wasn't written very well, mostly because I wanted to post something and I wanted to write about this in particular, but for the reasons mentioned above I don't have much time to do it. But, hopefully, I got my message out.